From Stockholm to London to Stockholm to Arlanda Airport

I am back from London where I had a lovely weekend. My brother and Liz's new house in Berkhamstead is amazing (well, amazingly large, with amazing potential at the moment, and by Christmas lunch I suspect that potential will be well on its way to being fulfilled).

I had two lovely evenings out drinking, Thursday with Step and Els from the UK Film Council (soon to be closed by the cockney rhyming slang DCMS Minister that is Jeremy Hunt). And Friday evening spent in the company of Marco, Kate, Dave R, James, Claudine, Rob and Dani. To say I was hungover on Saturday morning was an understatement, but then I am rarely hungover these days, and I had no 20 month-old baby to look after so it mattered very little.

On Monday I came back to Stockholm on Ryan Air. The flight wasn't so bad, but it took me nearly two hours to get to Stansted from Berkhamsted, and after you land it is nearly two hours on a coach to Stockholm.So it felt like I spent all day travelling, but what did that matter for I was picking Sam up from nursery.

I rushed there and was surprised to see that at 5.40pm, with 20 minutes still to go before it shut for the day, Sam was the last there. Very different from Clapham I can tell you! The poor kid was in the playground with just one of the carers for company. After journeying back to Asspuden we went to the playground, Skyped Uncle David, had a bath and then went to bed.

I had the morning off work, so whilst Sam inspected his belly button (right) I got things ready and then we went to the amazing Vassaparken for a few hours. After his lunch it was time to take Sam to nursery.

As we approached nursery his body language in the pram became quite uncomfortable, I could tell all was not well. To say he was upset when I handed him to Madeleine (who is lovely) would be an understatement. I dare say, without our "situation" he may not have settled in immediately, but it definitely isn't helping. Unfortunately I am now off on a business trip to Stockholm's main airport (Arlanda) until Saturday evening (GWP is hosting a conference at a hotel in the airport). After that, things settle down, no trips for a few weeks (until I go to France with Sam) and so I won't be apart from Sam for more than 4 days. I do hope he settles down quick as it breaks my heart to see him so sad. I would do anything to make him happy, but alas there are some things I cannot do on my own, and this is one of them.

On the job front, things have not gotten any better, on Friday I had this email:

Hi Michael

You had very interesting competence, however, as of today, we are not able to offer you employment with us. Only a few of our customers are using English as corporate language, most of them are Swedish speaking. But that is changing, and if it is OK with you, we’d like to save your CV in our bank of potential employees.  

With Best Regards

Cybercom

Bugger. Yes, I plan keep my chin up. Yes, I plan to keep on fighting. But I have to say, just one bit of good news wouldn't go amiss. I really need a full time job. If I don't get one before the end of January then my Swedish adventure will be over before it has properly begun. I could not look on any more sites, I feel short of knocking on doors and begging there is nothing else I could do. I just hope one of the remaining two irons I have in the fire, comes to something, if not I will be a worried man indeed.

And that's my news. I am giving a presentation tomorrow on social media. I won't be directing any of the attendees to this blog! And nor will I be blogging before Sunday due to being away, so I hope you all have a good week.

My last blog for a week and a bit...

My last blog for over a week unless I have some good (job) news to report before I head to London on Thursday morning.

It does seem unlikely that either of the three interviews I have had will make up their minds to employ me any time soon, but you never know. I will hold my thumbs (crossing my fingers Swedish style) in hope.

So, onto today. And given it was a Sunday morning, Sam was up at 7, but the sun was out so we left the flat just after 8 and walked down to the lake.

I say down, because we have to go down a very steep path to get to the lake. Of course on the way there Sam is full of energy and not wishing to sit in his pushchair... it's a different story on the way back however... still it keeps me fit as I can't go running when I have Sam.

It really is beautiful at the lake and it was full of joggers and happy couples walking their children - you will be pleased to know that their happiness didn't unduly sadden me, due to the fact that Sam was charging around like a nutter (or a 20 month old boy) and my full attention had to be on him so that he didn't take an unplanned dip in the water.

On the way back home the horses were out at the park and Sam decided he wanted to feed them. I was a bit apprehensive about this - what if they wanted to eat his fingers instead of the grass he was holding? Still other children were feeding the horses too, and as you can see from the picture Sam definitely enjoyed it.

Horses scare me, not least because the first time I ever went riding I was leading a horse out of the stables and it trod on my foot and broke my toe (hairline fracture to be accurate). Anyway, Sam's Mamma loves horses and it looks like Sam does too.

Our afternoon was less action packed as we took in the park, and I had a conversation with a lady who had two children at the park. She told me that her little boy was called Moses. "Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow's little boy is called that too isn't he?" I replied. The look on her face told me that she had no idea what I was talking about. I am sure Kate would have been proud of me for pulling that Heat related fact out of the recesses of my brain, but perhaps Swedes aren't as in to their celebrity gossip as the Brits sadly are (although I don't believe this for one second having looked at all the celeb-gossip mags available in the newsagents).

We spoke to Uncle David and Auntie Liz on Skype. I have no idea what Sam thinks is going on, but for certain he loved it and was touching his nose, and head, and ears upon command from Berkhamstead. If any of you reading this have Skype, and fancy a video (or voice) call then I am michael_corless. It really is great.

I will be seeing both Uncle David and Auntie Liz this weekend as I am back in London. I am really excited about it, but at the same time I feel terribly guilty and a bit sad at the thought of not seeing Sam for 6 days. I can then see him on the Tuesday evening post London, before I am off on a business trip to Stockholm Airport of all places. GWP is hosting a conference there, and I am required Wednesday through to Saturday evening. I don't mind at all, after all I will get a full weeks pay for a change, but I am disappointed that I won't see much of Sam for nearly two weeks. I hope he remembers who I am!

Anyway, I shall see some of you in London for a drink on Friday! Hurrah....

Rainy Saturdays

Look who was in Stockholm today!

I have known James since we worked together at Reed Elsevier. James and David R (who was also working there) are absolutely two of my favourite people in the whole world. So when James said he was visiting Stockholm with his girlfriend Claudine to see some of her friends and were we free on Friday afternoon, the answer was definitely yes please!
So this afternoon, Sam and I went to meet them in town and show them some of Stockholm.

In anticipation of Samuel's future as a genius we went to Stadshuset (Town Hall) where they hand out the Nobel prizes each year (it isn't just the Peace prize, they also have prizes for Physics, Chemistry, Physiology or Medicine and Literature (who says they don't learn anything from this blog)). It was lovely to see them both, and rather odd to be able to say to James: "I'll see you next Friday" (I am back in London for the bank holiday weekend).

Postscript

In case you are curious, the answers to the questions about my interview at Cybercom were slightly disappointing:

• Do they have a job? Maybe, they are not sure yet, they will look at how many projects they have got on and then decide.
• Will they like me? Yes, I think so, but then one can never be sure... I liked them!
• Will my lack of Swedish be counted against me? Yes, but they know I am willing to take lessons. It doesn't help matters though.

So, my second interview in a row for a job that may not exist. Obviously I enjoy talking about myself, but I would love it if next time I go to an interview it is for an actual job, rather than a theoretical job that may exist at some stage in the future.

My week so far...

I saw Sam last night, he drove over and took me in his truck to his Mor Mor's (mother's mother) flat where he is staying (50% of the time, the rest being at mine) with his Mamma.

It was lovely to see Sam, and we had a play and then watched In The Night Garden, I put him to bed and then came back to the flat. I will see him next on Friday when I take him to nursery and after that I have him all weekend. Yay!

This week, I also had a social outing with my work. Ali, who is from Egypt had everyone round to his flat. It was an amazing flat, on (apparently) the poshest street in Stockholm. The flat would have suited me just fine, but alas I think it would be a bit out of my budget. Aside from spending the night jealously wishing I could live in a flat like that, it was a nice evening and it was good to spend an evening away from the laptop.

So on to today. I have an interview at a company called Cybercom. Do they have a job? Will they like me? Will my lack of Swedish be counted against me? I suspect I will find out the answers to these questions in the next few hours. Fingers crossed for some luck (or maybe I should be Swedish and hold my thumbs for luck).

Sunday Sunday....

I just tucked Sam into his bed. The weekend is over for him, and soon it will be for me too. I have had him since Thursday afternoon, and it has been brilliant, but today has definitely been the hardest day. I am tired (looking after a two year old with bags of energy is tiring) and Sam was a bit tired today (he wasn't cranky, more whiney) and the weather was a bit rubbish. Having said that, we really did have a lovely day, and Sam must have smiled for 90% of it.

Now, I said I would not discuss what happened between his Mamma and I on the blog, and I won't. But I can discuss how I am feeling. And today, was definitely one of my hardest days since arriving. The reason being that hanging around in parks, with happy couples, and their lovely children gets you down after a while if that is what you wanted for yourself. Now, I can hear my friend / life coach / saviour, Steve say "you have to make the most of what you got", and whilst that is very true, it is hard not to feel sorry for yourself occassionally. And hanging out with happy couples all weekend eventually got to me. Having said that, I have got Sam next weekend as well, and I am truly grateful and wouldn't want it any other way... But surely I can feel sad sometimes?

My brother asked me on the phone yesterday, is it better or worse than you thought living in Stockholm on your own? So far, honestly it is much better than I thought. Having said that, my fear is this is the honeymoon period. I am really busy trying to build a life, start a new job, find a full time job, and playing Dad to Sam... What happens when it's winter, and I have built most of my life? I hope, that I will have a full time job by then, which will fill my time when I am not with Sam.

I did have an interview with a really cool digital agency in Stockholm last week, they really liked me, but they won't know till September if they can afford to employ me (and that would be at approximately two thirds of what I was on in Stockholm, so its not like I am asking the world!). I have a big interview this week at a different web agency on Thursday. Hopefully they do have a job, that they can offer me, if they like me more than the other candidates... We shall see...

So yes, overall I am doing ok, but as Ronan Keating sang "life is a rollercoaster" and I am definitely on the dip down today. Tomorrow is Sam's first day at nursery. I am going with him all day. So is his Mamma. Lots of other kids are starting nursery for the first time tomorrow, so all their parents will be their too. It could be another tough day...

Anyway to finish off, here is a lovely video of Sam from today, in the park (loving couples not featured!)

Our Saturday in pictures

So Sam, do you like Cirkor Cirkor?

Believe it or not, he kept still on my shoulders for over 40 minutes... He is fast asleep now after a day in the park and then going into town for the free show....

What Sam and I did on Thursday afternoon...

Being part time at GWP, means I only have to work 20 hours a week. Due to the fact that I had worked 20 hours by Thursday afternoon, I picked Sam up from his Mamma and took him to Vassaparken (the amazing free park that I wrote about last week). 

As you can see from the videos below we had a lovely time...

Sam on one of the free trikes (how long would they last in a London park?)

Sam on the trampoline, then trying to pick up an older Swedish babe

When we finally got home from Vassaparken it was 7.30pm. He hadn't been to my new flat before, so he had a quick look around, played with a few toys and after a quick change for bed it was time for In The Night Garden. As you can see from the picture, my laptop is now also my tv (thanks to the wonder that is SVUPN Surfer it makes my ip address appear as if I am in the UK so we can watch the BBC iPlayer).

Tomorrow we will go and see the animals in the local park, have a paddle in the splashing pool which is also in the park and then go to town and see the circus... 

Burned Out Punks

Last night I met up with my friend Chris, whom I studied Swedish with and his girlfriend Amanda (who is from Stockholm) and we had a few beers, and then went to see some Burned Out Punks. It was my first social outing since moving to Stockholm, and it was a good night out.

This week is the Stockhokm Kulturfestival, and there are lots of free acts to see, and things to do in Stockholm.

Samuel and I will be checking out Cirkor Cirkor on Friday night who are meant to be a cooler Cirque du Soleil on a big outdoor stage in front of the Opera House. He can sit on my shoulders, and hopefully he will like it, and if he doesn't we can go home, it is free after all...

Anyway, so onto last night... After a few beers, we took the tube to T-Centrallen, and in the square there, a group of performers called Burned Out Punks were putting on a show. My enjoyment of the show was probably helped by the beers we had drunk, but there was lots of fire, motorbikes and a karaoke version of Bryan Adams' Everything I Do, which was actually funny, so what not to like? I wouldn't recommend ever spending a great deal of money to see them, but if you were at a festival and they were on, they could be worth a look.

Nothing to do with Stockholm but still...

Whilst Sam has his lunch nap, I was organising images on my laptop... This was taken a few weeks ago in France, is possibly my favourite ever of Sam:

Mine and Sam's first weekend on our own in Stockholm

On Friday the sun was shining and we went to an amazing park called Vassa Parken. I am not sure if Sam liked it or not. We were there from 3.30pm until 7.00pm and he cried when we left! It is an amazing adventure playground the likes of which I never saw (for free) in London (although the playground at Hampstead Heath near to Tom and Steps was pretty amazing).

The centre piece of the park is surely the rubberised hill with slides and trampolines built into it. Sam ran himself into the ground and slept for nearly 12 hours. We both had fun, and I have to admit that whilst most of the time I had my eye on Sam as he ran around like a loon, there were quite a few Swedish yummy mummies to keep me entertained.

On Saturday, Sam and I met up with Elsa and Henrik, and their little boy Ossian (who is one year old). Elsa is Sam's mamma's best friend. It was pre-agreed that talk of the situation was off the table to avoid any awkward moments but to be honest, with two little boys to watch that was never really going to happen.We went to a place right next to where I work called Kulturehuset. It has an amazing children's library / adventure playground. Sounds odd, but it works, and Sam loved it.

He loved the staircase the most, as it has lots of hidden passages. He also loved the fish they have there, the kitchen he can play in, and being around other children (he starts nursery next Monday, I am sure he misses the Anglo-Spanish one in Clapham). In fact he loved everything except for the books (I tried to read him a story but he ran off).

In the afternoon it was raining. His grandmother's flat is quite small, and it was only drizzling, so we set off out with our waterproofs on. After 10 minutes the heavens opened. It didn't just rain a little bit, it was cats and dogs. So we stopped off at cafe at the marina and shared a blueberry muffin. Then a raspberry muffin. Then we watched the rain some more. After an hour Sam was getting bored, and the rain wasn't stopping so we walked back to the flat. I think it is probably the first time Sam has played in the rain... To say he loved it is an understatement. He splashed in the puddles whilst I stood under an umbrella until his lips were blue (Mum, I am only joking, but you could tell he was getting cold). So I put him in the buggy (no protest which makes a nice change) and pushed him home, and then we both sat in a hot bath until it was time for In The Night Garden. Despite the programmes racist (the Asian family have ten people in one bedroom) and sexist (Uppsy Daisy is clearly a prostitue) overtones, Sam loves it, ergo I love it too...

Today, Sunday, the weather has been nicer and Sam and I walked to Vassaparken, and he had a great time there splashing in the puddles. And I spoke to an English daddy... We may go there this afternoon too, why not, next weekend, it will be 20 minutes on the tube to get there....

My week at work

Although I am only contracted to do 20 hours a week, I spent many more hours in the office this week, due to my flat hunting. It is almost a national sport in Sweden. In England, everyone has a different opinion on the national football team (well they did, I think we can all agree these days that they are rubbish). In Stockholm, everyone has a different opinion on finding a flat... In the end I got one off ebay. Well blocket, Sweden's version of ebay.

I am renting a flat from an old lady (she is a gran, she told me, so this is fact not being rude) agreed to rent it to me for 3 months whilst she is in Barcelona.

The positives:

• It has one bedroom and a sofa bed, so Sam can stay there
• The area is reasonably central (12 minutes to t centralen). The station is called Aspudden. See if you can find it
• It means I can move out of Samuel's grandmother's flat straight away (with his mum here too, it isn't the most welcoming place I ever stayed)

The negatives

• It will be a trek to get Sam to his nursery (probably a 40 minute door to door journey)
• I have to get somewhere else almost immediately
• The area is probably a bit dull, but from a map of where it is, there seems to be quite a lot of nature so it should be nice for me and Sam to go walking and for me to run in.

Here is the ad, it also has a picture of a map to click on.

Yes, I know I should probably give myself a break and say well done me for getting somewhere so quick, but if I relax too long it could mean begging Sam's grandmother to take me at the end of October which I don't really fancy.

Sam cried when I went to look at the flat last night, and again when I left for work this morning. I worry this seperation is beginning to affect him.

So I got Sam all weekend. I may see Henrik and Elsa (I called her last night). And the forecast is actually alright. Hopefully we will have some fun.... and then hopefully next week I can get the flat set up to host Sam. But that may be a big ask... We shall see...

My first week

My first week was spent without Sam. Although I would rather spend every minute of every day with him, it was not the worst thing in the world, because it gave me time to start organising my new life.

I have three immediate goals and in order they are:

1. To get a full-time job (for without one, I will be back in London, with my tail between my legs sometime soon after Christmas).
2. To find somewhere to live (this would be simple in London, but in Sweden, there are no letting agencies. Flats are rented out on a need-to-know basis. When I was first told this, it seemed so unlikely, but now I am here, I see renting a flat will be my first mountain to climb).
3. To make some friends (as fun as Sam as, it may be good to have the occasional adult conversation over a beer - although I can imagine anyone reading this, shouting back at the screen "but why didn't you ever have an adult conversation with me?")

My first day was spent at my new part-time job at GWP. I am paternity cover for an English guy called Matt Evans. Matt was really nice and even bought me lunch to welcome me (and did not take a receipt to claim it back!) He spent the day showing me all that he has done since being at GWP, and I have to say it was quite daunting although he is much more technical than me... I was in the office with him until 8pm (I had no Friday night plans, so I was ok with it).


My weekend, was as you can imagine quite quiet. My first conversation was Sunday night, on the phone to my mum... But my weekend was ok. I found a service (SVUPN Surfer) that for £5 a month can mask your ip address and make it appear you are based in the uk... So, I can get the BBC iplayer and 4OD on my laptop... Which I know it sounds silly but it did lift my spirits, because Swedish telly is really crap, and I will be spending many evenings home alone... Saturday I had a run, and also went to see Inception at the cinema which was brilliant...

Sunday I read the papers on my laptop in bed, watched the grand prix on iPlayer, and then went for a 4 hour walk. It would have been less far, but I got quite lost towards the end... boy, was I glad to see the flat eventually... even if I was accross the other side of the water from it, and it was still 20 mins away...

One of the troubles for me at the moment, is Stockholm is a city full of memories of Sam's mamma and I. Everywhere I went on Sunday it was a different memory and several made me sad for a few moments I can tell you....

Once I got home, I ate and then watched that new Sherlock on the iPlayer. Good it was... And that ended my first week in Stockholm.

My first blog

So why a blog? It's a tiny bit arrogant I suppose thinking that people would want to read about me, and what I am getting up to in Stockholm. But, if the past three and a bit months have proved anything to me (and yes, depite it feeling like a lifetime it has only been three and a bit months) it is that I am lucky enough to have a lot of people who care about me...

So why a blog? Instead of sending out a load of emails, saying hi I am ok (or not as the case will occassionally be) this way, you can check up on me if you wish... or not... and I will still be answering emails.

So what will you write about? How I am getting on in Stockholm, how Sam is, what we're doing, and how frustrating it can be trying to start a new life.

So what will I not write about? I won't be writing about Sam's mamma, or anything that has or hasn't happened. It is sadly obvious that she has passed the point of no return, and so it is onwards and upwards.